Every Uncle needs a niece to spoil and love on! Kayla Faith Hockersmith was born 7.9 lb and 20 inch long on January 18th.

Two years ago almost to the week we gathered in the hospital welcoming little Nathan and Andrew into the world. Answers to years of prayer. Back in that same hospital, the boys,  although not entirely interested, had a chance to be big brothers this time around.

So I’ve gone and done it.

I am becoming the kind of person I never thought I would be… and I really have no clue what I am doing. I have officially jumped head deep into the world of social networking… facebook, blogging and now the latest addition- a twitter account.

For years I have resisted such a move (even had to buy a buddy a beer over losing a bet). Throughout this process I have read, and have my own opinions about the good and bad of such communication. Regardless, the lives I find myself connected to, interact with and feel called to have some form of leadership in are “all doing it.”  Yes I caved to peer pressure!

In giving in, I have noticed some temptations in my own heart.

So here are my top 10 temptations with social networking…

#1. The temptation to think anybody really cares where I eat, whom I am with, or what I do throughout my days

#2. The temptation to fill empty space checking my iPhone reading what everybody else is doing, rather than do something “productive”

#3. The temptation to not “twit” at all

#4. The temptation to find my worth and identity in the number of followers or “commenters” I have

#5. The temptation to pass judgment on others who write absolutely ridiculous things

#6. The temptation to be profound

#7. The temptation to become addicted to checking facebook, realizing it is a matter of habit more than intrigue.

#8. The temptation to feel guilty because I have not written in awhile

#9. The temptation to believe I have nothing worth saying

#10. The temptation to remain an “internet” distance away, rather than enter deeply into people’s lives.

Regardless. I am up and running. I have much to learn but feel free to follow me

@_traviscollins

The day before…

Now I know that we have chosen this obscure day in the middle of winter to celebrate the birth of Christ.

However…

I woke up this crisp Christmas Eve morning thinking about what was to come. Amidst the shopping, the family games, the eggnog, the obnoxious bell ringers out side every grocery store (which seems to be an ever increasing thing of the past), the church services, fat white bearded people, horrible Christmas music, crowded streets, cranky, selfish parents, gift wrapping (in my case) and the laughter that I know will fill the morning… Amidst it all is the greatest gift, the most profound moment in history, the single most defining event that changed the world- forever.

The moment when all reality was forever re-oriented, re-defined, and renewed.

I am struck in wonder with what the conversations were like. The trinity, who are outside of all realm of time, began to talk and choose a moment to invade it all and unite heaven and earth. What happened the day before?

What was Jesus thinking as he was laying down his deity, preparing to become a man?

How was God feeling as he let go of his Son, in the ultimate act and gift of love the world has ever and will ever see?

The Spirit, I wonder if he was excited to be able to empower and unite the two of them, anticipating the coming days to be intimately within his people?

Our day before experiences are filled with less sleep, more stress, anticipation, excitement and joy. What was the day before like, for the Triune God?

I know in these days I am often flooded with contradicting and compelling feelings. Is that experience part of my image bearing?

How can I today, join the Trinity, in their remembrance and delight for what was to come?

Jesus once said to those closest to him, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

I was driving today with my dad, and we began talking about the paradox between church culture and younger generations (which are always fun conversations with my dad). The particular conversation this morning quickly became a conversation about generosity.

What makes one a generous person? Does it have anything to do with the amount of money or resources they give?

Generosity is one of those values that I do not think can necessarily be taught. I do not sit and listen to a sermon or someone wax eloquent about being generous and come out a generous person (which happens to be true for any and every virtue or value…), but I think generosity more than others seems to be a value that is really learned through example, having experiences with generous people, and mostly the work of the Spirit.

One of the points of the conversation that peeked my interest, my dad made the statement “…it is because people are too focused on themselves they don’t even think of others and their needs…”

I think generosity is one of those “upside-down” values of the kingdom. It is one of those values that draw people closer to what is actually true and real.  One of those, ‘I will think about you before myself’ conundrums.

I think it is much easier to give away my money (which can be a very generous act), than to give of my time, my life, my skills or resources, my listening ear, my ambitions, my plans, my schedule, my comfort, my… It is a true gift, benefiting nothing in return.

What does it mean to be a generous person?

How do we become generous people?

Who is in focus when we give?

What do we have to live on that we can give away?

On my way downtown this morning, I stopped into Gracelands, my favorite local café to grab a coffee to go. I walked up to the counter and asked for a “take away” cappuccino. The American interpretation of this is a cappuccino to go. With a smirk, the gal working the counter, who I have gotten to know a little bit over my time here in London asks, “where and why are you in a hurry to take-away?”

This is a great question- nowhere really. I need not be in a hurry. I am sure as I walked away, she thought to herself, “that dumb American.”

I have become so accustomed to productivity, busyness, hurry, making sure that I use every moment wisely in my life, that I have lost the grace and ability to sit down and enjoy a morning cappuccino. Something they here in England, value and hold onto dearly- their coffee break (which by the way is a real break).

As I walked to the tube thinking about this short interaction, and then found myself being the only one in on the packed tube with a coffee in hand, I began to wonder. What is it in me that I feel I ought to be in such a hurry, always on the go? Recognizing, in the States, I’ll even drive through a Starbucks because I have someplace to be, often in a hurry- a normal thing right?

Why is it, when this gal asks me a question about my take away coffee, she is somehow asking a deeper question for me of worth, value, and identity?

Why must I fill my time with things I deem to be productive? Why do I wonder so often why there are so few hours in a day?

What do I loose if I am not continually being “productive”?

Who is the one defining productive?

Is it necessary? At the end day, is what I fill my time with really that important?

I am here in Karlsruhe, Germany to work with Mateno (German- CRM partner). Currently they are a team of 5 individuals, all of which are cultural creative artsy types, who have a heart and passion to communicate a gospel that is fresh, creative, and alive to a stagnant, and disconnected country. They are about creating “spaces” for people to ask deeper questions about life, spirituality, and meaning which is quickly becoming movement throughout Germany. These spaces are everything from publishing a quarterly magazine, using the arts, culture and current events to communicate Christian values, to hosting concerts, art shows, prayer installations, to leading missional order, locally reaching into the community.  This stuff is brilliant, making deep and lasting impact.

As I sit with them, hear their stories, and dream strategically what it would take to make significant impacts both in the State Church and in the community I have left every conversation being inspiration. Here is a group of people that are not becoming bogged down by the theoretical conversations of emergent, or non-emergent, who are not unwilling to take huge risks for the Kingdom both financially and creatively. They are living it!

Inspiration.

What goes on inside me when I look at the beauty of these people and their passions to reach their culture? Their excellence taps into something deep within me.

I wonder if it taps into the same something within all of us?

I instantly want to be a part; I want to give my life to similar causes. It makes me want to be about creativity, innovation, change, movements that point to the Gospel that is truly bring freedom to those oppressed, hope to the hopeless, color to the mundane, joy to the brokenhearted, food to the hungry, peace to the persecuted, love to the un-touchable, life to the lost and wonderers, meaning to the insignificant, and identity to the abused.

Are you around people who inspire you to live from a deep place of passion and love? Who challenge you to want to make a difference, a lasting impact? Who force you out of the box of normalcy?

I have been doing a good bit of thinking around the idea of “Community”. I stumbled across this simply Celtic song, and again felt challenged by the simple profundity. I have so much to learn about living life together. I want it to become so much more than an idea or even ideal.

This particular song, the brothers would sing while washing one another’s feet in preparation for Lent.

Brother, let me be your servant,

let me be as Chris to you.

Pray that I may have the grave to

let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey.

We are brother on the road.

We are here to help each other

walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you

in the night time of you fear.

I will hold my hand out to you,

speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping;

when you laugh I’ll laugh with you.

I will share your joy and sorrow,

till we’ve seen this journey through.

When we sing to God in heaven

we shall find such harmony,

born of all we’ve known together

of Christ’s love and agony.

Brother, let me be your servant,

let me be as Christ to you.

Pray that I may have the grace to

let you be my servant, too.

Mother Teresa has influences millions of people, no doubt. I wonder how she would respond to the famous image of her face being tattooed upon somebody’s neck? I think it is beautiful- in so many ways.

I wonder why he was drawn to Mother Teresa? Was it her service of the poor, her humility, her love and devotion for her Savior or the Catholic Church? I wonder what this young man’s experience of Jesus is? What about the church? Has he ever been? I wonder how he feels about the people and community of God that Mother Teresa was deeply embedded within? How would he respond to the word Christianity? What does this say about spirituality today?

One of my favorite things to do is notice people’s artwork, and ask them what significance it has to them personally? Does their tattoo speak to a heart of longing, significance, hope, life, death, attention, desire, love or loss? I wonder how this guy would respond?

It might be a good thing I was not there to take this picture myself, I have a tendency to stop and stare. What can I say; I love and am fascinated by God’s children.

A wise director once told me, he said, “Trav, there are four easy steps to life.
1. You have to show up
2. You have to look inside your heart and be honest with yourself
3. You have to speak it, to God and those around you, and
4. You have to walk away, and allow God to deal with the rest…

Like many of you, I often balk at people who make the Christian life fit into the “3 easy steps.”  Something goes off deep within me, recollecting the numerous failed attempts. When we try to bottle the process of growth into this simple formula, if you just do a, b and c, then and only then will your life become perfect…. yeah right! Somehow I have yet to find this in the teaching of Jesus.

If you will open up to the Spirit’s work, I think something is foundationally different in these steps. I did not hear them as an equation that needs to be followed, or a formula that will suddenly unlock every door. Rather, these often lead me back to myself in ways that illuminate my heart, my motives, my wounding, and most importantly, my need for God. Much like anxiety, these four ‘easy’ steps have become a guide in my heart. I feel the Spirit brining me back to them often all to realize they are in no way ‘easy’. They are quite simple, but simplicity does not mean easy. I am learning to be gracious.

My journey has been one of being asked to take different steps at different times. There are times when my insecurity becomes a wall in my heart; I am hindered by fear and pain that showing up in life seems impossible. Numbing the truth becomes the only, or most conceivable option.   Others, often in seasons of seeing myself as I truly am, looking with and being honest amidst the shame, guilt, or even pride becomes my greatest enemy. I think to myself, “There is no way I can look inside there, I have no clue where this will lead or if it even ends. What if….”

I must admit these first two steps seem to be growing tougher and tougher as I mature and develop in Christ. Step three has in many ways been defining of my life. It is one thing to know myself, see my sin, with the accompanied feelings of lonliness, it is entirely different to speak this into existence. My story is one of splitting off from myself and spending most of my time and energy creating a false self out of fear of having to own who I really am inside. For most of my life I have asked people and God to love something that is not true, that is not real, that is not me. The thoughts in these moments are, “there is no way anybody can love and accept this; I am un-lovable, un-desirable, not good enough.” There is something profound about speaking the truth of our hearts into existence. In a lot of ways the weight of our lives becomes unbearable held within, it is only when we release it does it become somewhat normal, even okay.

The fourth one, wow! Oh how tempting it is to manipulate, control, and determine how everybody else thinks and feels about me. This is the true step of faith, or in many ways the greatest invitation of releasing. Releasing the grip of gaining acceptance and approval on my terms. It is in step four we are freed to accept authentic love from others and God. Freedom allows me to be loved, as I am, known as I am and even desired for who I am. It is when I walk away do I then have experiences of being loved by God, understanding afresh, He is control, and things will be okay.

I am loved. I am known.

What hinders you from showing up? What do you use to numb the true state of your heart?

If you were honest with yourself, what would find? How would you feel about yourself?

Who around you knows you? Who have you been able to speak the deepest realities of your heart to? Is God one of those people?

How have you controlled how others have perceived you?

Postmodernism. Emergent. Generation X or Y. Whatever we choose to call us, one this is clear, we are amidst an ever changing hour.  I am the first to admit, many of the changes are beneficial , although others are disappointing. Some of the questions we are asking are brilliant, although many of the answers we are coming up with  fall short. One of my greatest fears, as I live into such changes is the growing chasm between my generation, call it what you will, and the generations that paved our way.

This is a gap I want to stand in.

Below are some thoughts about what I see taking place in my generation of people. By no way am I trying to present anything absolute, these thoughts are simply my discoveries from personal experience. I do hope they raise questions. Where do you fall? Who do you connect with and why? How are you fighting to see unity spawn in breeding grounds of individualism and distinction?

Things are changing. People are remaining.

I think the voices that are speaking into the values that drive our culture come from an array of sources. There has taken place a “leveling” in terms of influence. In generations past, rank was significance; one’s ability to speak into a particular situation or idea depended upon their experience or more specifically “expertise” (often equating to the level of education received). I think authenticity, humility, and relationships have replaced “rank”. We want to follow people who are genuine, who live, think and relate in an honest and authentic manner. We are drawn to organizations, people, art, and creativity that express one’s heart and transcends language, rather than to an intellect or theology.

We are a “becoming” people. I think more than anything I desire a place to belong and be known- to become. Places of safety, a place to creatively express and discover who I am. Leading in this generation is going to be a shared responsibility, moving away from top down structures.  Holism seems to be a driving value. There is a deep value, specifically within spirituality to connect to the ancient forms, understanding and practices. Movements towards establishment in what went before and in becoming rooted in tradition.  We see less and less distinction between the secular and the sacred, rather, are adopting an expanding worldview, which speaks to the Kingdom of God. We see and experience the Kingdom being made present in and all situations, people, culture.

We are passionate about community. Community is not something we can create. Rather, I believe community is discovered. We can create environments where this discovery can take place, but it is not forced or created. We go wrong often in allowing community to become the end or goal in and of itself. Community must always be directed towards something. We discover community when we are aligned with others on the same mission or journey.

The Story. I am learning all I really have is my story. I find that by simply sharing my story and listening to others as they discover or articulate theirs, I am living a deeper kind of life. We are attracted to the story, we relate through a story. We find ourselves in the story of the Kingdom coming. We discover our call in light of This story.

I see the gap being a movement…
…from distinction (right and wrong) to the process and journey
…from understanding to experiencing
…from dogmatism to free expression
…from skilled to creative
…from relevant/trendy to historical (giving us a place to connect and belong)
…from the head to the heart
…from performance to abiding with Jesus (doing vs. being; doing for God vs. being with God)
…from secular/sacred division to the Kingdom of God
…from being told what to think to being taught how to think
…from what we are against to what we are about/for
…from compartmentalization to integration
…from answers to questions
…all towards unity, holism and simplicity.

Which side of the gap do you live? What about those around you, whome you have influence and relationship with? What and how do you want to contribute?